It had been almost a year but I can still remember the single tear that slid slowly down my cheek that night as I drove home from my disappointing date with Moped Ted. It wasn’t that the date was worthy of shedding any tears. After all, I had nothing invested in Ted other than a few silly emails and a little bit of hope. But it was a night like that, where expectations were so high and they crashed and burned so quickly that I started to doubt myself and my unexpected situation. I didn’t exactly plan on being a 30-something divorcee.
When my boyfriend proposed and slid the shiny diamond on my finger I certainly was not imagining how that ring would taunt me from my jewelry box long after I stopped wearing it every day. Nor was I thinking about which pictures I would put on my new online dating profile. Instead I breathed a sigh of relief and thought, ‘Finally!’ “I am secure. I’ll never be single again, never have to go to a party or wedding alone, again!” I felt like a legit adult with a man that loved me enough to make it legal and as an added bonus I now had an emergency contact that wasn’t blood related. I had arrived!
The reality of my unexpected single status smacked me in the face when only a few short years later I ended up on a date with a short and T-Shirt wearing, moped driving, coca cola drinking guy who stared at my boobs all night!! It was a little discouraging. Thankfully, my pity party lasted only a few moments. My iPod shuffled to Michael Buble’s “I just haven’t met you yet”, (my anthem since becoming single), and my hopeful outlook returned. By the time I was home I was laughing and texting my girlfriends about the ridiculous date.
The next day, I missed a call from Ted who was asking me out again. He wanted to take me to lunch. In a half an hour! Talk about short notice! Thankfully when I returned the call that evening I was able to leave the “thanks but I think we are better off as friends” message. Ted was history and it was time to do what I was getting really good at; dust myself off and move forward.
Later that evening, I received a POF email from Miguel. He was a 39 year old part time personal trainer and full time sales representative for a pharmaceutical company. He was 5’10” with a great body, (according to his photos), and a nice smile. Although our emails were polite, there definitely wasn’t the same easy banter I had experienced with Ted. If anything I was a little bored. However, seeing how Ted “gave great email” and was such a dud in person I thought maybe Miguel would be the opposite so I continued our “conversation” for a few weeks. I wasn’t ready to jump into another date just yet.
I typically avoid a pre date phone call it if at all possible. They can be awkward and nerve wracking. But Miguel had been pestering me for 3 weeks and I finally gave in and emailed him my number. Based on our boring emails, I had low expectations for the call. But I figured I’d let the first phone call be the determining factor of whether or not I wanted to meet him in person. I felt a twinge of nervousness when the phone rang, but I was pleasantly surprised by his deep voice. The happy surprises continued as he was actually funny and a bit silly. Before long we were both laughing and sharing bad dating stories. We spent 40 minutes on the phone that night and by the end of the conversation we had decided to meet in person. We set a date for the following week.
We continued to text each other throughout the week. It wasn’t constant but just enough contact every day that let me know at the very least we were both interested. I was beginning to get excited about meeting in person. As we got closer to the day of our meeting, he started to be overly flirty which I thought was strange considering we hadn’t met yet but I decided to let it slide. Then, something odd happened. The day before we were supposed to meet he sent me a picture via text, and my jaw hit the floor. It was a picture of what I had to imagine was him-It was only a picture of his torso. He had an incredibly toned, muscular body, but I had to wonder WTF he was thinking. We hadn’t even met yet. This was weird right? It got weirder when he requested that I send him a picture, of my “booty”. He wanted a picture of my ASS. Um, no. I did not send the picture! I only wish I had the same sense about not going on the date…